That should be the name of my book! PATTEN PENDING. STEAL AND I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN. Knacker!
'...You need to have a sit down with your EGO!' Blaring 'The Saturdays' through the house.
I'm so gangster....
I had about three hours of sleep last night. I've gone from no medication to....
-Acid Reflux Medication
-Microlite (Not Crohn's but sure, we'll throw it in there!)
-Solpadine (Granted, a regular!)
I've lost my train of thought.
So, I was thinking about me aul blog, and thought about how much I missed spreading the joy!
Decided to update/change the style/direction of the entire yoke!
Now- before I launch into my recent hospital appointment (stick around, it gets graphic! In a sexy way! ....no, I'm lying... not in a sexy way...whats wrong with you....), I want to state FOR THE RECORD that I fully support the whole no medication, elemental diet! It didn't work for me, how and ever, it works for a lot of people! I don't know how factual this is, but as it was spoken by my doctor, I like to think she might have picked up a few tricks of the trade in college ''The elemental diet usually works for those who have crohn's in the small bowel-'. So if that is you, then Jesus try it. Okay so that's were I stand with that, moving on.
To continue that statement, my doctor went on to say: ' The elemental diet usually works for those who have crohn's in the small bowel....but you have it there TOO, so maybe it will work'.
I wish I had honed in on this passing remark. Too. Hmmmm. It just recently came back to me & luckily I had scheduled a walk in appointment (No you can't schedule a walk in appointment...I may lie about appointments to receptionists. For FUCK SAKE I'm ill!!!!!) , so with my hospital appointment scheduled
(I use that term loosely), I brought it up with the most recent cast outs of medical school, a lovely chap though. I've never met the actual head of the department. Lie- I met one man before who used to run it. He made fun of my college course. I willed him to lose the rest of his hair.
ANYWAY- I asked yon doc, 'Where do I have my Crohn's?'
I know I'm an idiot. I knew I had it in my bowels. Somewhere! But I was 10 when I was diagnosed and never got around to asking.
Yon Doc, after riffling through his papers: 'You have a small part in your lower small bowel...- (sigh of relief), you have it right throughout your large bowel, in your stomach, external Crohn's disease And you have an inflamed oesophagus- but we don't think that's Crohn's *smiles*'.
He could add incontinence to the list after hearing that rant.
A rookie mistake on my part then. I should have known the extent of my Crohn's before undertaking something so drastic. Well lesson learnt, BELIEVE ME.
No, my fellow Irish, not to mention my UK & US readers (I've got 'em! :D Seriously! I checked my stats!), I've not been well.
I can't eat anything without it running through me, I've joint pain, mouth ulcers, not to mention my nails completely suck now. So with all this going on... I decided to enter the Miss Louth competition.
Seriously, I mean I'm feeling so great about myself, WHY WOULDN'T I DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS. Sleep deprivation and reruns of 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians' will do crazy things to a girl.
Khloe Kardashian. My Hero.
So I've taken one injection of Humira so far. I've also missed a lot of college. The stress of that is horrendous. I've been putting off dealing with that by watching episodes of 'Made in Chelsea'.
I was given a choice however. Steroids or Humira.
I wouldn't say I'm the vainest person I know, it's just that whole moon face look was completely 2005.
I've done it twice and after looking back at photos of my bright balloon mug looking back at me, I wanted to seep into a vat of depression. Dramatic, but sure, I'm tired.
My bones are so incredibly skinny already that I'm scared of being shredded down even further.
Currently a UK size 6. I have a Miss Louth dress fitting later.
What shade goes well with bone...?